“Where were you last night?  I was looking right where I’m looking right now, and you weren’t here. Now, here you are, or there you are, an uninvited piece of ugly.” 

     Minus one or two expletives, this is exactly what I said to what looked like a flesh-colored piece of Chiclet chewing gum stuck on my face, right under my left eye.

     This unwanted beast of a malformation vanished from my face as the day went on. Yes, I know, my face is going to gather more wrinkles and I’m sure there are some Chiclets down the road, waiting for me.

     According to the Mayo Clinic’s website, “As you get older, your skin naturally becomes less elastic and more fragile. Decreased production of natural oils dries your skin and makes it appear more wrinkled. Fat in the deeper layers of your skin diminishes. This causes loose, saggy skin and more-pronounced lines and crevices.”

     If the notion of some kind of plastic surgery as an option passes my reader’s mind, it has no chance of acceptance in mine. I’ve never seen the results of a facelift or other procedure without thinking there was some inhuman visual distortion in the results.

     I’ll accept the presence of Chiclets before I do.