I love you. For some of us, those are the hardest words to say. For all of us, those are the words we long to hear, whether they be said to family members, friends, significant others, and so on.
Some of us have a hard time saying the words, I love you. There are real reasons for this. Some have lived in environments that made saying the words an emotionally wounding experience. One example would be, parent stinging a boy child or girl child with, “I don’t want to hear that. If you love me, your room would be clean, and you’d be getting better grades. Words are cheap little one.”As a result, it was safer not to say them. Individuals don’t have a hard time saying these words for no reasons whatsoever. They deserve to be understood.
So does the person who has longed to hear those words. My mother, Virginia, rarely said those words to me. I know she loved me, but she had a hard time saying it. I’m not going to share her history here, but if you knew her history, her having a hard time saying the words would make perfect sense to you. Trust me on this. I have a handwritten letter she wrote to me many years ago signed, “Love, Mother.” It’s one of my heart’s treasures.
I have a suggestion for those who have a hard time saying these words. Before I do, for those of you who think saying I love you is somehow an act of weakness (silly mushiness perhaps) I’d say this. If saying I love you is an act of weakness, why is it so hard for you to do?
My suggestion is this. It’s built on honesty which I believe to be as loyal a friend as one could hope for. Consider saying something along these lines. “I want to tell you something that I know is important and I know is true. I have a hard time saying things like this, and I can’t promise that I’ll be able to get myself to say it again. I want you to know that I love you very much, and that will never change.”
It’s an idea. While you’re pondering it, think about this. When’s the last time you heard someone complaining about there being too much love in the world? Hmm?