As far as I’m concerned, self-absorbed lad that I happen to be at the moment, anyone who does not think losing their wallet means the end of life as they know it, has never lost their wallet!

Yes, I know; reality says I exaggerate and it’s not really the end of the world (duh).

The online Merriam-Webster Dictionary says a poltergeist is “a noisy usually mischievous ghost held to be responsible for unexplained noises (such as rappings).”

The definition fails to mention that these ghosts are highly skilled pranksters, and proud of it.

It has taken me 70 years to understand and accept this. Yes,  some younger folk might consider this balderdash. A few of them young folk will have to look up the word, balderdash.

These poltergeists are good-hearted on the one hand and highly skilled pranksters on the other. No doubt hiding my wallet and witnessing my head spinning in amazement when I realized it had vanished into thin air had them clapping their hands or paws with glee because they were the ones who made my wallet vanish in the first place!

My tasks this morning were simple and straightforward. Left my home with my dog. We got into the car. Drove straight to the food market. I bought ice cream. Paid for it with my bank card which I keep in my wallet which I carry in my jacket.

We drove straight home. We came inside. I reached into my jacket pocket to find the receipt and the bank card.

No wallet!

Yes, I called the food market. Nothing turned in. Yes, I drove back to the food market, no wallet had surfaced. Yes, I called the local police in case it was turned in. Nothing yet. I did not tell the police about the ghost. Why risk giving the wrong impression?